


Innocence Lost

by breakofday



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Confused Kíli, Gen, goldsick fili, random dwalin and thorin for dramatic effect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakofday/pseuds/breakofday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, Kili just thinks Fili is stressed. But after an unprovoked attack, it becomes apparent that something is deeply wrong with his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Innocence Lost

**Author's Note:**

> So this was just a random idea that popped into my head, and I liked it so much I did a little drabble. I may end up making a full multichapter fic out of this later when I have time, but for now, here's this. It would actually be awesome if you guys could comment and let me know if you think I should make a multichapter thing with this.

Kili didn’t understand what it meant, at first. Those flashes of anger in Fili’s eyes, the haughty tone he used with his little brother, how he mocked Kili for wanting to share a bed and cuddle up and feel Fili’s breath in his hair. _Fili’s just stressed,_  he told himself, over and over, but there was a part of him that didn’t quite believe it.

 

Fili  wore finery every day, adorned his fingers with rings and braided sparkling gems into his hair and mustache. At first, Kili had just thought he was taking his place as heir, and merely wanting to look the part. It seemed a little strange to the younger Durin; the fine clothes made him itch and he hated the weight of beads in his brand new braids, the way they smacked against his face when he shook his head or ran, but Fili had always been the more kingly of the two and he didn’t think too much of it.

 

As for the biting comments, those hurt, certainly, but Kili wouldn’t dream of blaming it on Fili. Obviously he had done something and Fili was upset with him. Kili would sit alone by the fire for hours, smoking his pipe and trying to think of what it was that he’d done to offend his brother. Sometimes the old Fili would return and hug Kili and tell him to just trust in him, everything would go back to normal, he’d just had a rough day or he was tired or something along those lines. Kili believed him wholeheartedly and forgave just as readily.

 

There were whispers from some of the older dwarves that Fili’s behavior wasn’t unlike their late king Thror’s, or even Thorin’s before he had the Arkenstone taken far away, but Kili brushed them off with a little laugh. This was Fili they were talking about, after all! His brother, Fili! And the curse on the Durin line was just a story. There was no way Fili could be cursed. It just wasn’t possible.

 

But looking back, Kili had to laugh bitterly at his stupidity. He should have seen it, should have recognized the signs and done something while he still could. Because now, it could very well be too late.

 

Kili hadn’t meant anything by it. He’d only asked Fili if he could borrow a few coins because he was planning on going to the marketplace in Dale and might consider picking something up for his brother. It was innocent, selfless, but Fili hadn’t seen it that way.

 

The yelling was the first indication something was wrong. Fili didn’t yell. Not ever. And certainly not at Kili, not for years now. But here was Fili, screaming at his younger brother for even daring to suggest that he lend him a few coins, _dirty thief, all you ever do is take everything from me!_

 

Kili’s eyes had widened and he’d stuttered out an apology, but there was something about the way he worded it that set Fili off. The next thing the youngest Durin knew, he was flat on his back with Fili kneeling over him, long-fingered hands tightening around his throat.

 

This was no play fight. This was real. Kili tried to call for help, but he couldn’t summon enough breath to do so. He struggled, not understanding, hardly believing, shocked by the genuine _hate_  in those blue eyes that he so adored. Kili choked, fighting harder as his vision started to blur, but Fili was stronger than him and he was very much pinned.

 

_Fili wants me dead._

 

He remembered thinking that one thought, how it had reverberated around his mind over and over as the world started to darken at the edges. He was suffocating, dying at his brother’s hands, the one he had admired and loved more fiercely than anyone else. But just as Kili was ready to give up, Fili let go.

 

Or rather, Dwalin wrestled him off. Kili gulped down air, coughing and gagging as he struggled to breathe again. There was a sharp sound of skin meeting skin, and Kili blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision and see what was happening. Thorin’s face swam above him, one hand locked around his nephew’s wrist.

 

He remembered catching sight of his brother with a fresh red mark across his cheek, blue eyes now wide with horror. His memory ended there, whether because he fainted or because he just couldn’t bear it anymore, Kili wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was that he’d come back around to the low murmur of voices, his mother’s and Thorin’s, by his bedside.

 

They’d given him something to drink and told him not to talk too much or risk straining his voice, and then they’d quietly explained that Fili was ill with goldsickness. Kili was horror struck, terrified to hear that about his brother. Fili had always been so perfect, so incorruptible, and it was the most frightening thing in the world to realize that he’d nearly been killed at his brother’s hands, that he had inherited their curse and was fighting a battle of his own.

 

Kili waited until he was alone before curling into a ball and starting to cry.


End file.
